


Who Does That?!

by zetsubonna



Series: On Va Voir [11]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirate, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 19:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2122644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zetsubonna/pseuds/zetsubonna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anonymous said:<br/>The Honorable Captain Rogers and his crew have been taken captive by pirates lead by the fearsome Winter Soldier. WHAT EVER COULD HAPPEN NEXT. *cue chinhands and booty puns*</p><p>I am stealing a scene from myself. FROM MYSELF. There is a scene ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE THIS in my original work and I AM NOT EVEN SORRY.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Does That?!

"This is a wedding! Who robs a wedding?" Captain Rogers was furious. The ropes that were binding his wrists were already rubbing against them because he was still struggling, and First Mate Wilson was nowhere to be seen, and the Winter Soldier did  _not_  like his odds right now.

The Winter Soldier turned to Crossbones, who liked to  _think_  he was the first mate but was  _seriously_  going to get marooned on the next island they came to because he’d been in charge of the watch when they’d picked this target and robbing the  _Princess Sarah_  was about the most idiotic thing he’d ever allowed to proceed apace. “ _Who the fuck robs a wedding?_ ”

Crossbones sighed. He was quietly planning a mutiny and he needed the Winter Soldier to not pay such close attention to him for at least a little while longer, but this big blond captain and his rage were ruining his moment and-

"Falcon KICK!" Most self respecting sailors did not have a battle cry, because that was over the top, but Captain Rogers encouraged First Mate Wilson to be over the top whenever possible, because it was funny and he could back it up. Crossbones lay in a crumpled pile a few feet from where the Winter Soldier stood on the deck, and if he was taking out half of the crew of the  _Hydra_  on his own, then any minute now there would be another county heard from in the form of-

"Drop your sword!" -Second Mate Romanova, formerly known as the dread pirate Black Widow, now reformed and leveling a flintlock pistol directly at the Winter Soldier’s armored chest. He had no desire to be shot, so he flung a packet of smoke propellant directly into her face.

“ _Fuck my life_ ,” Winter Soldier growled, kicking Crossbones in the head as he attempted to scramble back to his ship. Whatever crewmen he left behind could go straight to Davy Jones, for all he cared, because what kind of idiotic pirates only captured the Captain and the grunts and let the two dangerous mates go running around eluding them and acquiring weapons? Useless! “ _No treasure is worth this_.”

"Who robs a wedding?!" Captain Rogers was still bellowing when the Winter Soldier hit the friendly side of his gangplank and started pulling back every rope they’d thrown to get aboard the  _Princess Sarah_  in the first place. “Get back here, you scallywag! Men! Hoist the sails! Give chase! They’ve stolen Lady Foster’s dowry!”

“ _Fuck_!” The Winter Soldier hoped they gutted Crossbones and left him for the sharks. Lady Jane Foster? This was  _her_  wedding ship? Sir Thor Odinsson would pay untold sums to have them chased to the ends of the world, he was crazier than Captain Rogers and had an infinite supply of gold. Sharks were too good for Crossbones at this point.

"Hold, or we’ll fire!" Second Mate Romanova spoke and fuck, they had  _cannons_. Who put cannons on a  _wedding ship_? Who would use the  _Princess Sarah_  as a wedding ship? Suddenly, the man in the green cloak who had given them the ship’s path was more suspicious than ever.

“ _Hold_ ,” The Winter Soldier ordered, scrambling to the aft of his ship and yelling across the sea. “ _We have cannons, too! Just keep the men in exchange!_ ”

Captain Rogers made angry sounds, while Mate Romanova and Mate Wilson conferred. “Your conditions are unacceptable!” Captain Rogers declared, folding his arms before the other two could offer him suggestions as to why this was a good deal. “Surrender, or die where you sail!”

“ _For Christ’s sake!_ " the Winter Soldier was ready to start firing his own cannons, and he hauled himself up to the end of the bow of the ship, taking off his mask and flinging it behind him. "No! Pick something else, you unreasonable punk!"

Captain Rogers made a very strange face, and for a moment the Winter Soldier was overwhelmed with a sense of indistinct familiarity.

"Bucky?"

"Who the Hell is Bucky?"

"Bucky, you  _jerk_. Open fire! Sink it! He’ll live!” Captain Rogers stormed toward the edge of the ship, and the Winter Soldier braced for impact.

He would kill Crossbones  _himself_.


End file.
